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Friday, April 29th, 2005
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11:38 pm - Quitting
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I am quitting smoking. I hate everything. I hate everyone. I even hate myself. This is not Catherine, it's not Catherine at all. I want to destroy everything and eat every piece of food i see. Things i used to love really annoy me now.
And they say quitting is good for you.
I'm putting weight on already. Catherine doesn't put weight on.
Now i'm thinking i'd much rather have cancer than slip into this horrible depression i have at the moment. I don't like it. It's stopping me from sleeping and being properly happy. Fucking hell. I keep crying too. I never cry, ever.
I fell out with my mum and dad aswel. It's starting to take the piss.
Oh i got kicked out of 6th form haha.
( But look )
Oh yeah its my mums birthday today happy birthday mum haha. Oh dear i ruined her day but its her fault for not listening to me. I make her sound like shes a bad mother but she isnt, she's great, i'm just a difficult person.
current mood:  gloomy
current music: Nowt
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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6:57 pm - Fuck
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Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK
Joe just invited me to his birthday party. Bastard FUCKING bastard. I am pissed off now thats FOUR THINGS i have to do in different places at the same time on saturday night and i want to go to joe's party FUCK bollocks if he'd had told me before like he claims he did i could have gone n just perved on him all night.
Ah i bet he's lying
I'm seriously going to fucking scream.
argh, see.
i am having a bad day today. but i worked out why i cant stop eating! its because i havent smoked all week, its making me staaaaarving!
Anyway i'm going now before i rant
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Someday - Embrace
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1:16 pm - Interesting
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I just went downstairs intending to go for a cigarette in the garden and i had this really strong feeling of 'Seriously Catherine, don't do it' so i thought yeah lets go with the gut instinct. So i poured myself a glass of Fresh Orange Juice and just as i locked the door back up, Dad came in the front door.
So i'd just like to thank my gut instinct for telling me to get a drink instead of going for a cigarette, cuz if i'd have gone for a cigarette dad would have murdered me, twice. And me walking out of the kitchen with a glass of fresh orange juice is perfectly normal, so he wasn't suspicious. Phew.
Anyway i just put my jumper on while the hanger was still in it. That made me laugh.
I might try to work out how to put pictures on here soon, i'm guessing you have to put them on a website then use html to put them on, which means i have to resize them because i dont know how to resize using html i dont think. Ahh i have nothing better to do with my time so why not.
I pranked Tom earlier. Just one ring to see if his phone was on. I didn't leave my number. I am a stalker, a self confessed stalker. Thankyou and goodnight
current mood:  drained
current music: Jay Z - December 4th
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| Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
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10:02 pm - FIVE HUNDRED QUESTIONS
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5:43 pm - Quizzes Woooooo i can feed my addiction
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( I love my addiction )
These Peter Kay Universal Truths made me piss
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. (That is true, there is less crust, you see...that's why sandwiches are triangle at parties i reckon. More people eat them then)
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. (I have been that girl, once, and that is because i was crying with laughter. Usually it's a girl that came with her boyfriend, and nobody really knows who she is)
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.(it only takes me about 2 pints to get drunk so i never notice)
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.(That was what my Maths lessons consisted of mainly)
6) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
8) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.(Haha it's just not right is it)
9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.(I don't eat banana's in public, or if i do, i break them apart with my hands before eating them)
10) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.(so that's where they all go eh!)
11) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.(It was Dave's dog...scared the shit out of everyone and Mr McCosh had to chase it away)
12) the most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.(i did it, on the first day of a new school...i wanted to crawl into my desk and die)
13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.(can't really comment on that one)
14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.(Frisbees ALWAYS hit me in the face. Seriously, always)
15) You never ever run out of salt.(We do.........*is ashamed*)
16) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.(haha or when you are falling over *see previous entries*)
17) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
18) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
19) the most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.(or a hairbrush)
20) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.(hahaha thats true i used to slam doors before i started driving)
21) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
22) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.(Tony)
current mood:  amused
current music: The Subways - Oh Yeah
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1:16 am - Dickhead
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12:14 am - Seed Prayers
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I just hunted out a load of 'Seed Prayers' from when i went to some dodgy catholic retreat thing with school years ago n i'm gonna write them down...because i can, lol:
( Here they are )
That thing was shit anyway. I had a massive temper tantrum half way through the week and tried to run home cuz someone (mentioning no names CARLY) told the teachers i had bought fags with me...i hid them in the lining of my puffa jacket (i was so cool...*cough*) and there was no way anyone would have found them but nooo Hannah handed them in so i went mad and was screaming at everyone and told one of the teachers to piss off and shutup and that i dont give a shit if her dad died of cancer from smoking they're my fags and they cant have them.
I was so nasty. But i hated them all anyway and i was sick of being good at school so that was a big release for me. Ahhh dear back in the good old Chav days...
current mood:  calm
current music: The Prodigy - You Will Be Under My Wheels
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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4:28 pm - iPod thingy
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I dont think i have a taste in music....as this proves:
( iPod Survey )
current mood:  bouncy
current music: something by 50 cent
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4:04 pm - I fell over!
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Ohh wow i haven't fallen over properly for ages! That was great. I'm in serious pain but aaahhh it was funny. I was trying to plug my phone charger in and i just over balanced and landed funnily on my arm and leg then cracked my chin on Colin's cage and smacked the back of my head on the floor.
It's times like this when i wish i was on Big Brother or something so i could watch that back.
Ohhhhhhh my leg hurts now and my finger is bleeding noooo
I was talking to Damien for ages this morning, i've missed talking to him! He actually put his webcam on for once ooo. His hair is well cool.
Tom still hasn't text me. He flies home today, i dont know if he's back in england or not because i can't remember when he said his flight was. I'll just text him tomorrow to see if he's ok.
I went to some Battle of the Bands thing last night and had a right laugh! There was loads of 'oh we slit our wrists' people there but everybody else was cool. I went with my brother so i got chatting to his mates and they're so funny! We found a frog and i threw it at some Chavettes which was funny.
I think i really hurt my leg. I'm going to the cinema tonight, i'll have to make some crutches out of ermmm the heels of the shoes i dont wear anymore. Oh even saying that reminds me of Tom. Argh.
I didn't go to 6th form again today. I just dont give a shit about it anymore. I hate burton. I want to start again in Coalville so i will. My job's starting to be shit (they're cutting my hours down) i'm gonna fail my exams (i havent even started the coursework that was set at the start of the year and was due in 2 weeks ago) and most of my friends are starting to annoy me, we're all going our seperate ways soon and i dont want to still be in burton when they come back from uni or wherever they go.
Ooo blood on my finger argh. Oh dear seriously that was the best. I decided i love falling over.
current mood:  giggly
current music: Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight
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| Monday, April 25th, 2005
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12:16 am - Truuuuuue stuff
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( When a girl... )
*tom made me go all emo*
i just had some kind of crying/laughing fit/breakdown. i was watching a dvd and i just burst into tears, you know like the silent tears when ur shoulders shake. it was so weird. then i started laughing at myself for crying, because i never cry. Then i started crying every time somebody looked happy on the dvd...i think i just need to feel loved...because i dont at the moment, i did when i was with tom. i dont care how stupid that sounds. to people i like, i'm not really very affectionate, but with tom i just couldn't let him go. usually when people hug me i get clostrophobic and get panicy but with tom it was me going to hug him all the time, and we fell asleep all tangled up together and i just felt so happy.
this is pathetic. i am crying AGAIN. fucking hell...
current mood:  lonely
current music: nothing
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 24th, 2005
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4:53 pm - Weird
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( Life Path Number )
That is very very very very very true
current mood:  uncomfortable
current music: Jay Z and Linkin Park - Dirt off your shoulder and summet
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
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10:25 pm - Holiday
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SOME PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING TOUCHY. aaaaaarrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sams stopped talking to me for NO REASON but he blames it on thursday night when i went off with tom EVEN THOUGH he was being bitchy to me for most of the holiday and i'm just FUCKED OFF with everyone lecturing me about what to do on MY holiday...i met tom and liked him so i went off with him and NO OTHER FUCKER WAS TLAKING TO ME ANYWAY so what bastard difference does it make.
and SO WHAT if i could have got raped or something, i didnt! i'm safe, nothing happened, i just met a really great lad and it might suprise them but i've been through alot of shit before and i know how to bounce back, i've been date-raped, my 'best friend' has tried to kill me its all happened, everyone thinks that ust because i dont have family problems that my life is all fine and dandy and they think i cant handle situations but I CAN. i know how to stick up for myself now and i HATE IT when people try to tell me otherwise. if i want to go somewhere, i'll go there..if i want to do something, i'll do it. and if you dont like it you can FUCK OFF because i WONT APOLOGISE for being me i dont care how much of a good friend you were before hand.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
i sound like one of those emo kids but sometimes people just have to vent u know!?
anyway: Tom...i'm not even gonna talk about him because this is turning into a major obsession but ooooooohhhhhh my god the sex was great. i've had a MASSIVE grin on my face all day and i dont regret it at allllllllllllll rah i'm gonna remember that forever i wont go into details though they're for me and my mind only.
i really hope i get to see him again but i doubt i will, he's probably gone n found some other girl cuz he was the sexiest one in the group of lads he was with so it wouldnt suprise me
i'm gonna shutup now cuz this is driving me crazy
( Stupid Conversation )
I WOULD SAY THAT WAS A LECTURE WOULDNT YOU jeeeeeeeesus christ if u dont like it then just fuccccccck offffff i hate it when people make me feel bad for doing what i want rather than being unhappy just to please them
current mood: angry
current music: Hot Ride - The Prodigy
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| Friday, April 15th, 2005
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7:35 pm - Colin doesn't like tomato
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I just put a little bit of tomato in Colin's cage, he nibbled it then looked like he was being sick. I thought it was really cute cuz i do that when i eat tomato. He's learning, heh.
I still haven't started that coursework. Fuckkkkkkk. I did go to tesco with my dad though, i looked a right mess but i dont care, sometimes i like going out looking messy, i feel alot more comfortable.
Sam just rang me. I was supposed to be going out with him tonight but i cant. I have way too much to do and Dad is tooooo tired to take me, and mum ran off with a black man (not really, she went to blackpool with her mates for a salsa weekend...dodgy...) aww i feel guilty now.
Anyway i found this and liked it so:...................
i've kissed someone...
[x] on the cheek. yes
[x] on the lips. yes
[x] on their hands or fingers. yea
[x] in my room. yes
[x] in their room. yes
[x] of the same sex. yes
[x] of the opposite sex. yes
[x] younger than I. yes
[x] older than I. yes
[x] with jet black hair. yes
[x] with curly hair. yes
[x] with blonde hair & blue eyes. yes
[x] with flaming red hair. no
[x] with straight hair. yes
[x] smaller/shorter than me. yes
[x] bigger/taller than me. yes
[x] with a lip ring. no
[x] who was drunk. yes
[x] who was high. yes
[x] who I had just met. yes
[x] who was homosexual. haha no
[x] who I didn't really want to kiss. yes
[x] on a holiday. no
[x] who was going out with someone close to me. no
[x] who was my good friend's brother or sister. yes
[x] who had been/is in jail. no
[x] in a graveyard. no
[x] at a show/concert. no
[x] at the beach. no
[x] in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water. no
[x] who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with. yes (i was too young too)
[x] with dyed hair. yes
[x] with a shaved head. yes
[x] who was/is my good friend. yes
[x] who was/is in a band. no
[x] who has tattoos. yes
[x] who is of a completely different race than me. no
[x] in the rain. no, i want to.
[x] in another continent besides where I was born. yes
[x] with an accent. yes
[x] with an std. no
[x] on a boat. no
[x] in a car/taxi/bus. no
[x] on a plane. no
[x] at the circus/carnival. no
[x] with a missing body part. no
[x] in the movies. yes
[x] eskimo style. yes
[x] in an elevator. no, i should have though...that is one of the only things i regret ever
Have you ever...
[x] been drunk. yes
[x]smoked pot. yes
[x]rode in a taxi. yes
[x]kissed a member of the opposite sex? yes
[x]been dumped. yes
[x]shoplifted. no
[x]been fired. no
[x]had a job. yes
[x]been in a fist fight. kind of
[x]snuck out of your parent's house. yes
[x]been arrested. no
[x]stole something from your job. haha, yes, only food though, and i am allowed
[x]celebrated new years in times square. no
[x]went on a blind date. yes
[x]smoked a cigarette. yes
[x]gone on an airplane by yourself. no
[x]broken a bone. no
[x]had sex in a car. yes
[x]White lied to a friend. yes
[x]had a crush on a teacher. no
[x]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans. no
[x]been to europe. yes
[x]made out in a movie. yes
[x]taken caffiene pills. no
[x]been to Disney Land. no
[x]had a crush on someone you hardly knew. yes
[x]been to california. no
[x]been skinny dipping. no
[x]regretted something. i regret not kissing joe in that lift, lol
[x]peed on someones lawn. yeah, i got told off by the police for it too, haha
[x]skipped school. yes
[x]thrown up from drinking. yes
[x]lost your sibling. no
[x]fooled around with a girl. no
[x]been in a car accident. mild one
[x]partied for days and days straight. yes
[x]had a family member die. yes
[x]played 'Clue'. no
[x]had a sleepover party. yes
[x]went ice skating. yes
[x]been cheated on. yes
[x]had a boyfriend/girlfriend. yes
[x]have a car. no
[x]drove. yes
Do you...
[x]have a dog. no
[x]have a cat. no
[x]have your own room. yes
[x]paint your nails. no
[x]have a fav. group/singer/artist. no
[x]have more than 1 best friend. yes
[x]get good grades. no
[x]play an instrument. no
[x]have slippers. yes
[x]wear boxers. sometimes
[x]wear black eyeliner. yes
Number of...
[x]people you've slept with. 11
[x]people you've been in love with. none
[x]hearts you've broken. loads, i dont feel bad about it though, it's not my fault.
[x]pets. 1
[x]people you've pretended to be friends with. i dont like most of my friends
[x]number of times you've changed schools. 3
[x]number of times you've told someone you were in love with them and actually ment it. never
current mood:  blah
current music: Eminem - 1 shot 2 shot
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3:38 pm - Holiday soon!
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I finally got my passport. Went to Peterborough yesterday to get it. Peterborough's shopping centre is great, i'm gonna have to go back there! I realised i had 60 quid more than i thought so i went shopping while i was waiting for the people to finish my passport.
I finally have pictures of Colin, but putting them on here involves too much effort so i'll wait til i can be arsed.
I cannot be bothered to do anything today. I promised myself that i'd do coursework today but its nearly 4 o clock and SHIT lewis is coming round in about 20 minutes and my room is a tip and he's gonna moan at me for not doing any coursework. I'll just throw everything in my wardrobe and scatter german work over everywhere, lol. As if that's gonna get me good A Levels.
the deadline for my german coursework was yesterday. I havent even started it. It's 2 700 word essays on something shit that i dont even understand. I couldnt even write the essays in english, and i have today and tomorrow night to finish them so i can email them to my scary teacher who thinks i have quit the course, haha.
I'm going on holiday on sunday! Wo0o0oooo. That woo was a lie. I'm not actually excited. I'm just looking forward to the cheap cigarettes. I don't know why i have this inability to NOT get excited about anything. It's stupid. I get excited about shopping. There we go, the only thing in the world that i look forward to is shopping. I suppose it's because i have no faith in the future, i get happy about things while they are happening, then smile when i remember them...but anything ahead of tomorrow just doesn't bother me at all.
That isn't really a good thing is it. Well it can be in some situations, it means that i dont worry about anything, and i'm very good at improvising (because i can't plan)
Saying that, i think i have an idea about what to doooooooo with my life. I cant organise shit for myself, BUT I love organising things for other people, so my auntie suggested that i be a P.A...which sounds really cool to me. So i'm gonna look into that, and Sue can help me cuz she just loves helping people to organise things. Bless her.
Anyyyyyway i am getting a digital camera on saturday, THATS TOMORROW. Which should be good. I'll get happy about it when it is in my hand. I just hope Isha remembers. If she doesnt i'll send her home to get it. Haha, that's my boss i'm talking about. She bought a digital camera by accident for about 250 quid off ebay and shes selling it to me for 120, which is preeeeeeety good if you ask me.
I'd better get going anyway, 10 minutes til Lewis gets here....
current mood:  blank
current music: Kasabian - Cutt Off
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| Friday, April 8th, 2005
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10:36 pm - List Thing
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I feel weird today. I was working really hard at work today. It was strange.
I got my hamster! He is called Colin and i cleaned him out for the first time today, he let me pick him up once, i tried again but he went mental. He makes me laugh. He tries to run away from me, in his wheel. And the sawdust i put in his cage today makes him go wappy.
I still feel strange though...i feel like i'm missing something. Meh.
I went to watch The Ring 2 last night. It's scary. Well, it scared me. Went to Baracuda for a drink after, saw Duncan, i really wish he wasn't so pretty.
Bold all that apply
01. I can not draw.
02. I have strange eating habits.
03. I am currently obsessed with someone/something.
04. I love xanga.
05. I just ate a sandwich.
06. I am from a house.
07. I was born in October.
08. I enjoy reading.
09. I am not on anti-depressents.
10. I bite my nails like a lil bitch.
11. I am in love with Johnny Knoxville.
12. I like English class.
13. I've lost/fucked up my cell phone twice.
14. I hope someday I'll find happiness.
15. I'm about 5'6"
16. I like some sports.
17. I am quick witted.
18. I often stare into nothing.
19. I like board games.
20. I appreciate gratitude.
21. I can usually sleep even when I'm not tired.
22. I am too lazy.
23. I hate the smell of movie popcorn.
24. I constantly procrastinate.
25. I have never done hardcore drugs before.
26. I drink alcohol.
27. I wish I had better grades.
28. I love chocolate.
29. Stbupid people amuse me.
30. I hate when people judge others without knowing them.
31. I love hot chocolate.
32. I like *some* kids.
33. I hate cabbage.
34. I dress casually.
35. I am judgmental.
36. I don't have a favorite television show.
37. I'm not a senior in high school.
38. I am single.
39. I go to ECR.
40. I like Garlic Bread.
41. I am an optimist.
42. I love summer.
43. I haven't seen Marilyn Manson in concert.
44. I can be harsh.
45. It annoys me when people disrespect nature.
46. I am a hypocrite.
47. I wish i could vote in the 2004 presidential election.
48. I am trustworthy.
49. I wish I could play guitar or sing.
50. I want to get my hair cut.
51. The silence after a long discussion when you're trying to think of what to say next is terrible.
52. I burn my own cds.
53. I am not passive.
54. The best thing about a guy is his personality.
55. I often put others before myself.
56. I hate it when I don't understand what the lyrics of a song mean.
57. My mother is a fucking bitch.
58. I am currently smoke-free.
59. I'm half korean and half white. i wish i was korean
60. Stupid people really confuse me.
61. I like showers.
62. I love surprises.
63. I'm not fond of confrontation.
64. Sometimes I laugh about absolutely nothing.
65. The known makes me uneasy.
66. I am perfectly comfortable with knowing that I will eventually die.
67. I hate cold showers.
68. I sometimes speak just to fill silence.
69. I am afraid of not having control over my future.
70. I wish I could visit New York.
71. I like to keep life exciting.
72. I have ran into a tree.
73. I have walked into windows.
74. I like looking at and taking pictures.
75. I don't know how to play pool.
76. My favorite sport to watch is basketball.
77. I learn song lyrics quickly.
78. I like candles.
79. I like school sometimes.
80. I am annoyed by phony people.
81. I have studied one language besides English in my life.
82. I don't have a favorite color.
83. I am avoiding homework, thats why I am doing this.
84. I usually hold doors.
85. I have 1 sister.
86. I don't like when people brag.
87. I had a bad camping experience.
88. I really want to find love.
89. I like people with a really good sense of humor.
90. I like taking my time, yet I'm impatient with others.
91. I was just on the phone.
92. I like color coordinating my clothes.
93. My hair is brown.
94. I have never dyed my hair.
95. I reminisce to myself a lot.
96. I am fond of Dave Matthews Band.
97. I don't know who Saul Williams is.
98. I am not a needy person.
99. My bedroom is always messy.
100. I don't like some fancy jewelry.
current mood: moody
current music: Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
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7:14 pm - Staunton Harold
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I went to Staunton Harold today with Lewis, we took Lottie for a walk, she's got sooo big! She's a right nutter too, we put her little harness on and she was trying to bite it off, but kept falling over because she was trying too hard! Bless. Anyway yeah we went wandering around the resorvior (i cant spell for shit today) and on the way back we went through these fields and 2 horses 2 shetland ponies and about 20 sheep were following us, but every time we turned around to see if they still were, they stopped and pretended to not be following us. Scary fuckers.
Joe still hasn't text me. Which is good, because i am getting over him now. I am also not smoking. Sayin that i've not spoken to joe or been out to have a cigarette but hey i've not had cravings for either so that's good!
I've got all horrible spots (i mean 3) and they wont go away *sulks* it might be because i havent been sleeping properly OR because i've been in the house for so long. dunno.
I'm going shopping tomorrow yaaayy at the Bullring! With Sam Rich n Nikki. Should be preeeeeeetttyyyyyyy darn doooog hopefully. I just need to negotiate some money out of my dad because i dont get paid til friday. I've gotta find a way to buy a hamster too. Shit my wages are gonna be so bad though i doubt i'll be able to afford to buya hamster this month. I'm either gonna call it Pig or Spaz...Spaz is my fave at the moment for a name!
Nooootthhhhiiinnnnngggggggg is happening at the moment. I watched Bambi this morning, that film is so harsh but happy. Thumper is quality though. and that owl: "i was talking to myself about you just the other day, and we were wandering where you had got to!" Made me laugh. And the bit where he learns to say bird and says "bird bird bird bird BIRD" in his funny way. Rr dear.
yeah anyway..
current mood: energetic
current music: Body Rockers - I like the way
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
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1:18 am - Quiz Thing
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12:20 am - Meh
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Joe hasn't text me back.
I really hope there's a reason.
I so need to get over him, this is pathetic, it's not me at all.
current mood: crushed
current music: System of a Down
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, March 28th, 2005
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1:20 pm - Mondayyyyy
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I think it is a bank holiday today. Which makes today an official day of boringness.
I woke up at about half 3 this morning and i was wide awake. It's so weird how i sleep for 4 hours then wake up, it's only when i've had a really relaxed day though. I need my own personal psychologist to tell me whyyy i do all of this. Yeah that isn't gonna happen but hey never mind.
I am wearing a wristband/sweatband thingy today. I really must change my image to suit wearing them cuz they look really cool, but my clothes dont really go with them. I need new jeans and new shoes. For that i need money. Meh, no more jeans or shoes then, my wages are gonna be shite this month, i have to pay 70 quid for this sto0ofid passport thing, and i need spending money for my holiday (which is in 3 weeks by the way, eek) and i need stuff to wear on holiday! Oh dear! Haha, i'll manage, i always do (" ,)
My mum's mate is here. She woke me up at about 11 with her screechy brummie accent: "Ow moi god bernuy youv got a new freeeeeza!" Number 1: What is so interesting about a new freezer. Number 2: How dare she wake me up! Number 3: Why talk so loud. I hate it when people talk loud, there is just no need, no need at all.
I'm really hungry, and in need of crisps or a sandwich or something, but if i go downstairs then Mum will send me on errands, like 'Catherine take the kids down to the pond' or 'Catherine go to the cake shop with the kids'. I DO NOT LIKE THOSE KIDS. They scare me. Scary chav brummie kids that could easily kill me, or run into the middle of the road and get run over. If they did run into the road i would not stop them. Fuckers.
I sound evil now. I'm not. I just don't like it when children have no respect for anything. I sound like i'm about 60 but it is true. I reeealllyy want to have children or a child and it will be the coolest child in the world. It wont be all scary and disrespectful because it will learn from me, and i am very relaxed and care-free so hopefully my child will be too!
I've got cheese on toast to eat now.
current mood: restless
current music: Ciara - 1,2 Step
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| Sunday, March 27th, 2005
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1:41 pm - Personality Test
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Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Stability | |||||||||||||||||| | 80% | | Orderliness | |||||||||| | 36% | | Empathy | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Interdependence | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Mystical | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Artistic | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Religious | || | 10% | | Hedonism | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Materialism | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Narcissism | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Work ethic | |||| | 16% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Conflict seeking | |||| | 16% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | | Romantic | || | 10% | | Avoidant | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Wealth | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Dependency | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Change averse | |||||| | 30% | | Cautiousness | |||||| | 23% | | Individuality | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Sexuality | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Peter pan complex | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Physical security | |||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Food indulgent | |||| | 16% | | Histrionic | |||||||||||||||||| | 76% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Vanity | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||| | 23% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | |
| Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
I'd say that was pretty accurate...some of it isnt really anything to be proud of but hey at least i'm honest about it.
Joe randomly text me last night, i seriously nearly exploded! I am way too obsessed with that boy, i really need to do something about it. I asked him if he wanted to meet up on Tuesday and he said he'd let me know...i really shouldn't have reminded myself of that cuz i'm gonna be going crazy until Tuesday now. He asked me what we were gonna do if we did meet up and i just freeze whenever he asks me things like that! I said "well that depends how much privacy we get" i'm sooo shit at stuff like that. I'm dead confident in real life, but when it comes to text messages or talking about stuff, i just can't do it! Unless it's my decision. That doesn't make sense...hmm...like if somebody asked me how i felt about them, i wouldn't be able to tell them, but if they didn't ask me, i'd tell them. It's strange, i'm sure there's some sort of explaination or bad past experience with it but i dont know. Blah.
Jess just pranked me. She is always pranking me, but when i ring her back she doesn't answer. Or if she does it turns into a ridiculously long conversation and my phone bill cripples me! Lol, don't get me wrong, i love jess to bits, but she should text me if she wants to tell me something, bless her.
I was thinking about Rossy yeseterday...uh-oh. I just had the overwhelming urge to talk to him. I know i only knew him for like 3 weeks but i miss him, even though we split up ages before christmas. Weird innit. My addictive personality gets out of control sometimes, lol.
Speaking of addictive personality, i might try to stop smoking (again, lol) but then, saying that, i'm going on holiday in 3 weeks and there's no way i wont smoke then. And i know i'll bring 200 fags back with me, if not more. So maybe i could quit when i finish them, argh! If i had more willpower i could quit now and holiday could be a real test of my strength, but i just won't enjoy it if i'm all stressed from not smoking!
Thing is, smoking doesn't really bother me, i like it in a way! If i'm at home i can go without smoking for weeks, but when i'm out i get well stressed if i can't smoke. It's the habit i'm addicted to. And yeah it is scary when i wake up in the morning sometimes and my lungs reeeallyyy hurt. Or when i run for the bus i think i'm gonna die of a heart attack, lol. But i'm not a fit person anyway...i live the life of a fat person, so i don't know how my body is like someone who goes to the gym n stuff...hmm...that's tempting fate isnt it.
Right yes i will stop smoking after my holiday. Or i could just cut down now! Like only 1 pack of 10 every week and no more. Yeah, i'll do that.
In other news: I fixed my internet, woo!
Ohh happy easter too kids
And i don't know why this is centered, i tried making it align back to the left but it won't work. It must be something to do with the html from that table, but i don't properly understand table html yet so i'll leave it, for now.
| Freudian Inventory Results | Oral (53%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own.
Anal (36%) you appear to be overly lacking in self control and organization, and possibly have a compulsive need to defy authority. If you are too scatterbrained, you will not develop much as a person as you will habitually switch paths before you ever learn anything.
Phallic (53%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Latency (60%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests.
Genital (70%) you appear to have a progressive and openminded outlook on life unbeholden to regressive forces like traditional authority and convention.
| Take Free Freudian Inventory Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
I like these test thingies, they are scarily true alot of the time.
Locus of Control Test Results | Internal Locus (28%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive.
External Locus (72%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.
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Take Free Locus of Control Test personality tests by similarminds.com
I am justifying this by calling it Psychology revision. In a way it is, because i'm going to remember about locus of control and Freuds stages now.
| Eysenck's Test Results | Extraversion (79%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Neuroticism (16%) very low which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Psychoticism (55%) medium medium which suggests you are moderately self interested, willful, and difficult, while still respecting the well being of others.
| Take Eysenck Personality Test (similar to EPQ-R)personality tests by similarminds.com
haha, look at that one, Ross was right...i am self-obsessed and psychotic. But i don't pretend not to be.
current mood: cheerful
current music: The Libertines - What Became of the Likely Lads
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trifle_rifle's journal
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